It's Your Band Size, And Your Choice

You might have noticed me mentioning in recent posts that I’ve started including 30 bands in my possible sizes. That’s not because my measurements have changed but because I had a realization, one that felt a bit mischievous at first: I don’t have to wear a 28 band if I don’t want to.

I’ve been wearing one for the past few seasons because it matches my measurement (28 inches around the underbust) and I didn’t want to risk having back pain or other problems from wearing a too-loose band. But I hadn’t had many problems with 30 bands before that, unless they ran unusually loose, and I had a host of new problems with 28 bands—painful underwires, sharp edges cutting in, and that weird constricted feeling that comes from wearing something very tight for hours. So I recently decided to do a small trial of wearing 30 bands again. I figured if it didn’t work, I would go straight back to 28s, but ultimately, the 30 bands were a success for me based on the criteria I had chosen. The way I see it, there are three important tests for whether the band size you are wearing is too big:

First of all, and I’m sure you’ve all heard this before, but your bra band should not ride up. It should sit horizontally around your body. However, it’s important to note that a few bras have bands that just sit that way, angled a bit up, so they look like they are riding up when they are actually the right size or even too small. This is one of the most annoying things ever in my opinion, because it makes it difficult to distinguish between a correct or too-big band, hence why I’m mentioning two other tests.

Second, if you have back pain at the end of the day from your boobs, definitely try a smaller band.It might not solve the problem, in which case you need not bother to size down, but if it does help, you owe it to yourself to wear the smaller size.

Third, if you have to readjust your boobs a lot throughout the day, that’s a sign that something may be amiss with your size. Ideally, a well-fitting bra should stay more or less in place—you shouldn’t feel like you are constantly tucking and pulling. If you are, you may need to reevaluate what size you should wear. It could be that you need to change your cup size, or it could be that you need to wear a tighter band.

If you don’t have these problems with a slightly larger band size, though, I personally feel that you should choose the band that feels most comfortable, which may not necessarily be the tighter one. For me, I had a lot of comfort issues with 28 bands, so I’m moving away from them. Of course, I was never a small 28, and this is just my experience—I’m not suggesting that people abandon their sizes willy-nilly on my advice. I just don’t want people to feel trapped in a band size that is only best for them in theory. I have met some people with larger underbust measurements who prefer to subtract inches from their measurement to get the most comfortable band size, and I think that it’s also okay to add a couple of inches if that is the most comfortable option and if it is still equally supportive.

I’m pretty convinced that it’s not a good idea to add more than 2 inches to your measurement to get your band size, nor would most people have success subtracting more than that, but again, I’m sure there are some exceptions and outliers to this rule of thumb. Only you can decide what feels most comfortable for you. Just be informed about the right and wrong reasons to wear a band size slightly bigger than your measurements. For instance, no bra fitter in a store should encourage you to add inches—especially not the standard, pathetic American system of adding up to SIX inches. It is your right to decide to add inches, but MOST people will fare best in a band size that is close to their measurements.

I also don’t think it’s a good idea to make the choice to upsize just because of increased options in larger band sizes, although I understand why some people might find this a massive relief. Wearing a 30 band, I have many, many more options than wearing a 28 band, but that isn’t reason enough to size up in the band. If I was uncomfortable in the 30 band, all the options in the world wouldn’t mean anything--because all of them would cause me pain. Upsizing just so you can find something in shops, when you wouldn’t do so otherwise, means you are being bullied by the companies and inadvertently voting for the wrong sizes with your wallet.

However, you also shouldn’t feel that you need to wear the smallest possible band size if you are actually more comfortable in one size up. The best method is to take some time to experiment and try out a few different sizes. Most people will still find they are most comfortable in a band size that nearly matches their measurements, but trust your own instincts—if you’ve tried all the sizes you can (and that means more than just the ones available on the high street), you’ll know which one is best.

30 and Below Bra Band Project!

Hi there readers! I've teamed up with the wonderful bloggers Boosaurus, By Baby's Rules, Braless in Brasil, and StackDD to help raise awareness for the existence of a large market for band sizes 30, 28, 26, or smaller. Braless in Brasil's recent study proves that likely more than HALF of all women (in all weight ranges) may need a 30-inch band or below. Yet 30 and 28 bands are still rare and difficult to find, and 26 bands hardly exist at all! To try to shake things up, we're going to compile a collage of photos proving that women wearing 30 bands and below are common and look just like many of the women we see in our everyday lives.

At the bottom of this post, you will find a submission form. You can submit straight from here! We will crop faces out of the photos that include them, so you do not need to worry about being recognized. You can also submit a photo that is already cropped or taken from the neck down. Feel free to wear clothing (preferably something that still shows your figure) or lingerie, just no nudity please. Note that the form asks for a "path address." This means you can send us a link if the photo you'd like to use is already hosted on a public forum, like your blog, a public flickr, tumblr, or a public Facebook album. If not, just include your email address and email us a photo! (We expect lots of people will take the email route.)

Here's the "official" blurb that we are all including on our blogs!

"Recently at the Curve Expos in both New York and Las Vegas, brands that cater to large-busted women suggested that 30 bands and under were either for juniors, or that there was no market for them.  However, that is simply not the case. There are many women out there who need 30 bands and under, and we are not all juniors.  While we come in all different shapes and sizes, we all have a small back size in common. 

To prove that we are not all juniors and that we exist as a market, we have decided to create the Bra Band Project where we are looking for photos of women who wear 30 bands or under. We will make a flickr album and eventually a collage with our photos to show that we are not just juniors, but women of all shapes and sizes that need small bands.

We'd love your help, so please submit your own photo and band size using the form below or email it to brabandproject@gmail.com.  Note we need both your bra size and your photo. We cannot include a submission without both of those. If you are a blogger who would like to help out with this project email us at brabandproject@gmail.com."

How To Talk To Busty Women About Their Boobs

I am a big believer in compliments. We all take what we can get, so we shouldn’t be stingy with what we give. I really think that if you like anything about a person—their dress, their shoes, their eyes, their body, their laugh, their personality—you should most certainly tell them right away. But this can get a bit thorny when it comes to specific body parts, such as boobs, because we all have a fair amount of cultural baggage about the topic. I think when compliments go awry, seem backhanded, or sound creepy, the results can actually end up increasing the insecurity of busty women who are struggling to come to terms with their bodies. I don’t think the right answer is to avoid mentioning boobs at all. A more generic compliment will never go amiss, but I know from experience that it can be confusing if no one ever mentions the feature that seems most dramatic, especially for teenagers. So I thought I would compile a list of pointers, based on my experiences of what works and what doesn’t work.

I want to make it very clear that I am writing this with the assumption that you are talking about big boobs with your friend, not a stranger or someone you are romantically pursuing. If it is either of the latter, you should probably ask yourself why you are talking to this person you hardly know about her boobs. No matter how you treat the topic, bringing up a specific body part with someone you don’t know well is likely to come off as rude and/or threatening. Stick to the nonspecific: “You look great.” For complimenting a stranger, “You are beautiful” is probably one of the less threatening phrases you can choose.

Here are my tips for broaching the subject with a friend.

-Do NOT assume that just because a woman has big boobs, she is confident. A lot of times, it is the opposite. It is also kind of awkward to say you’re jealous if you’re a female and have smaller boobs than your friend. You may think it sounds like a compliment, but depending on her size and your size, she may be jealous of you for not having to find a tricky size and clothes to fit, or simply because she may prefer your appearance. This is a discussion that can be had, and both parties should be careful not to deny the other’s experience. In the same way, if you are decidedly NOT jealous of your bustier friend, be careful about how you bring that up; busty women, like all women, do not have a magical confidence shield that makes them impervious to insults.

-It’s better to use terms that refer to glory rather than size. Terms like “massive”, “enormous”, and “huge” may sound like simple facts, but they also have subtle connotations that can really embarrass someone you’re trying to compliment. Saying something is “big” is not the same as saying that it is “good”. Better words: “awesome”, “epic”, “amazing”.

-If you do want to talk to your friend about the size of her boobs, depending on your relationship that is probably okay, but make sure to put her at ease by prefacing the discussion with a compliment. Otherwise she may feel as though she is being dissected and examined.

-Some women will be happy to discuss their body if the topic is approached in a way that makes them feel comfortable, but others just don’t want to talk about their boobs no matter what. If you pick up on signs of that, it’s best to move on to a new topic. 

-The majority of busty women do NOT want you to grab their boobs even in the course of a scientific discussion of them. Some women will be fine with it, and in certain friend groups it is normal and affectionate, but this is one of the most common complaints I’ve heard from my friends who have big boobs. Just because they are big does not mean that boobs are public property. It’s her body, so follow her lead.

-It comes off as kind of weird if you ask to see what her bra looks like when it’s off her. If you’re genuinely curious about the physics and construction of it, okay, but if you want to see it just to laugh at how silly it looks, keep in mind that this is a bit insulting. Wearing bras on your head is only permissible when the owner of the bra starts it.

-If you DO see her bra lying around with the laundry and you are a smaller-busted female friend, or a male friend who has mostly seen smaller bras, try hard not to express shock or hilarity at how large the bra looks to you. Bear in mind that when she sees your bras, she is equally likely to find them absurd and laughable yet she probably (hopefully) refrains from saying anything about it. We are all just used to seeing bras in our own size so other sizes look kind of funny and bizarre, and I think this is something that is best left unsaid on all sides of the equation. Once again, it’s better to stick to “cute” rather than “huge” or “tiny”.

-My final tip is to remember the old cliché, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Big boobs aren’t everyone’s favorite thing, obviously, but if what you want to say to your busty friend isn’t a compliment, it’s better to avoid the topic altogether. But if you DO like your friend’s body, I think it’s really great to say so, especially if she is insecure or hasn’t heard it a lot. 

Breast Reductions - A Topic Close to the Heart

I read a couple of amazing blog posts this week regarding breast reductions. Check out "The Pressure to Get a Reduction" and "Minimizing Big Breasts: Bras Vs. Breast Reduction Surgery via Slip of a Girl". Reductions are a bit of a hot-button issue for us busty women, with so many different viewpoints and so many possibilities for feelings to get hurt. For this reason, I’ve avoided writing about it until now, even though I spend a lot of time thinking about it. Many women are happy after having reductions, but there are also cases where a proper bra fitting could have produced this same happiness without major surgery.  I also think that a lot of women get reductions ostensibly to deal with back pain, when really what are they dealing with is disgust with their body. I don’t mean to de-legitimize this disgust, but I do want to examine it. The disgust manifests itself in various ways, and is caused by various cultural forces. Although I now believe that this can sometimes be a legitimate reason to get reduction surgery, I wish it was less common as a cause, because I think a lot of the disgust (particularly the part caused by cultural forces) is fixable.

I used to desperately long for a reduction when I was 18-20. My mom was supportive but suggested that I think it over for a couple of years. I am so glad I waited, because I ultimately came to love my boobs, and plan to keep them for life. But much more importantly, I eventually realized that the reasons I had wanted a reduction were all wrong.

It began in my first year of university. After years of being happy with my body, my boob-self-esteem suddenly hit rock bottom. During one conversation with people (mostly females) living in my hall, they crowded around me saying “Oh my God, your boobs are so huge! What size do you wear? Can we look at your bra? Can I touch them? God, they’re just so BIG!” No one in the room said anything like “Your boobs are huge! That’s cool!”  or “Your boobs look good!” I get so mad when I think back on this. It is unacceptably rude to dissect and discuss a single part of someone’s body without at least offering the comfort of a simple compliment. As it was, I ended up feeling like a zoo animal.

In another incident, the best friend of my bitchy roommate purposely walked in on me when I was braless and then ran up and down the hall screaming “You guys, I saw her tits!”

In another conversation, this time with the males living in my hall, each and every one of them declared that big boobs were overrated and lame and they only liked big butts. I didn’t even like these morons but the mere fact that they all happened to have the same preference convinced me that it was universal.

I started to do internet searches of things like “Are big boobs attractive?”, but all that would come up were articles or posts trying to reassure girls with small boobs that their bodies were perfectly attractive, so it did the opposite for me. At that point I had still never heard anyone say “You have a nice body” or even “You have nice boobs”. All I had ever heard was “huge”, “giant”, “massive”.

These factors combined to cause what felt like a deluge of hatred for big boobs from everyone I talked to. I embarked on an overly intense diet to try to make my boobs smaller, adopted a curled-over posture that hid my boobs, and I suddenly couldn’t handle the sight of myself in my old bras.

At this stage, I wanted a reduction because I felt like a monster; my insecurity was verging on body dysmorphia. I thought I would never have a boyfriend because guys seemed to hate big boobs so MUCH. If someone I was pursuing romantically was uninterested, I would immediately assume it was because of my boobs. I wrote in my journal that I did not want to “inflict” the sight of my body on anyone I knew. I never even got catcalls or pervy comments, other than the few distressing incidents I’ve just detailed (mine was the opposite, I suppose, of the stereotypical experience).

These factors were the only reasons I was so disgusted with my body that I wanted a reduction, and once I grew out of my body hatred, I realized my insecurities weren’t founded. There are loads of people, both male and female, who love big boobs or at the very least know how to be polite about the topic—those people just weren’t talking as loudly as the people who treated me like a zoo animal. The most important realization was that I myself am one of those people who like big boobs—I like all boobs, actually. I still feel sad about the fact that no one told me my body was nice when I was young enough that it would have really made a difference to me. But I guess people were trying not to make me feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, the result was the opposite.

Because of my experiences and the fact that I ultimately came to love my body, it really saddens me to read about girls getting reductions when they are as young as 16 or 17 (even younger in some cases). So many of those girls never get the right guidance or the right length of time to properly make a serious choice which is for life. The worst is when women get reductions without ever learning about proper bra sizing—someone who should be in a 30GG will obviously be miserable in a 38DD but lots of women never learn that, and doctors don’t know that.

These considerations were only part of the reason why, after my phase of body hatred passed, I was extremely negative about reductions and believed that practically no one needed one. I’m glad I didn’t write a blog post about the topic back then because my viewpoint has evolved a lot since. I realize that although I was lucky enough to outgrow my disgust with my body, that sadly won’t happen to everyone. The cultural forces that helped remove my disgust with my boobs were just an unpredictable combination of factors, same as the forces that produced the disgust. When my love for my body was fragile and newly-formed, it was hard for me to deal with the idea of reductions because I felt that someone getting one for reasons other than crippling back pain was passing a judgment on MY body. If they wanted smaller boobs because they found their bigger boobs unpleasant, then I felt they must think that my boobs and my body were ugly and disgusting too.

But I realize now that it is unreasonable to reject the suffering of a woman who feels trapped in an alien body just because doing so might be beneficial to MY self-esteem. The bottom line is that it’s not about me. It’s not even about aesthetic standards of beauty, because there is no single aesthetic for what is attractive or acceptable. Feminism is about CHOICE.

A woman who wants smaller boobs can choose to have a reduction, just as a woman who wants bigger boobs can choose to get implants, finances allowing. In the same vein, someone who is attracted to busty women can choose to date busty women, and someone who is attracted to smaller-chested women can choose to date smaller-chested women. Besides, traits like breast size are very rarely foremost in people’s considerations of whom they love or value. None of the choices I have described are directly equivalent to a judgment on “the other” body type. Everyone feels differently and has their own preferences. If one person prefers something different from my body type, it doesn’t mean that everybody feels the same. It’s not a war.

How to Figure Out The Shape Of Your Boobs

I had a question in my comments regarding breast shape and how that can affect bra fitting. My post on “What Exactly is a Good Shape?” was an importing starting point for this, but I think it’s also pretty important to share a bit of the background to that post. Because I’ve tried so many bras and the shape of my boobs is very stubborn and frustrating, I’m very aware of it. Figuring out your shape is something that tends to happen gradually the more bras you try. But for trickier shapes, or for those who haven’t tried as many bras, it can be more difficult to figure out what shape you are. Once you’ve figured out your shape, you’ll be better equipped to choose bras that will suit that shape.

If you have boobs that are full on top, you will find that you struggle with bras cutting in across the top, especially when there is a ribbon or tighter detail there. In some cases this just means the cup size you are trying is too small, but women with full-on-top boobs will often have this problem even if the bra fits otherwise or is even too large everywhere else. Full-coverage bras can be very hard to fit into properly for those with this shape. If you find that you fit lower-cut bras in a certain size, while bras that have tighter upper section across the top cut in and give a “four boob” effect, you might be fuller on top and more suited to bras that are lower-cut or more open in that part. Stay tuned to this blog for reviews of bras that will work well, as this is the shape I have.

People with boobs that are more full on the bottom are likely to have more luck with bras that have a tighter upper section, like Bravissimo’s Alana and Dotty Spot or Freya’s Arabella. On the other hand, these women might find they need to size up with bras that give a lot of uplift by pushing the bottom of the breast tissue, like Curvy Kate's Thrill Me and Tease Me styles. Women with this shape will also have an easier time fitting into full-coverage bras, though they may find that style doesn’t give as much support and uplift as they’d like. I have no scientific data on breast shape, but from people I have talked to, and my observations of bra designs that sell well, I believe the full on the bottom shape may be the most common shape.

Other women have boobs that are more full on the sides, which I imagine would mean they are better suited to wide underwires; or full in the middle, in which case you might find you 'fall out' of plunge bras in the center. Or, some people’s shape might combine several of the shapes I’ve described. If you've tried lots of bras and have never noticed any of these effects, you might have a balanced shape that doesn't skew to any one direction, which could be good, and mean you fit in a lot of different styles.

If you haven’t been able to try on a lot of bras, you can also start to guess your breast shape based on the shape of your boobs without a bra. See if you can tell where most of the volume of your boobs is, and where they are most firm. For instance, my full-on-top boobs have the most volume on top, and that area is also very firm compared to everywhere else. Your monthly breast self-exam is a good time to investigate your shape while you’re at it.

You also may be able to tell your shape based on the appearance of your boobs without a bra. Although once again this is not scientific and won’t be true of everyone, boobs that are full on top tend to look more like the figure on the left without a bra, while boobs that are full on the bottom tend to look more like the figure on the right.

One last point is that some boobs are close together, while others are set further apart. If you have close-set boobs, you might find that you get a lot of cleavage without trying and need a narrow center gore, or to alter wide center gores so they don’t cause discomfort. If your boobs are wider-set, you might find it is harder to get cleavage when you want it, and you might find it is difficult to find plunge bras that work for you—Cheryl at Invest In Your Chest has talked about this difficulty.

I hope this post is useful to anyone who is working on finding the right bra for her shape. Of course, like any such guide, this is only a starting point. The main point I want to make is that there is no “wrong” shape for breasts. Every shape is normal and attractive, and every shape deserves a bra that fits well. There are lots of different kinds of bras out there, and especially as the market is growing, there will be something out there for everyone. The more you know, the better luck you’ll have. 

What Exactly is a "Good" Shape?

The more I interact with others interested in lingerie, the more I realize that even the most basic concepts are subject to opinion. One of these concepts is what defines a “good shape.” I feel like I spend a lot of time talking about that on this blog without having ever defined what I mean by that. There are a lot of different shapes that could be considered “good shapes” for a bra to give you:

The shape that I personally prefer as my “best” shape is rounded and a bit lower, even slightly minimized.

I find I get this shape in low-cut bras with somewhat looser upper sections. They don’t give as much support to the top half of the boobs but are often an easier fit on people with full-on-top boobs (like me) because the bra isn’t even messing with the top of the boobs. In fact, people with full-on-top boobs might even find they can size down in these bras. Another kind of bra that often gives this shape is the bra with vertical seams, like Curvy Kate’s Tease Me and Thrill Me bras. However, in my experience people with full-on-top boobs usually can’t size down in these.

Bras fitting this description include: Panache Harmony, Sienna and Confetti, Cleo Brooke and Frances, Bravissimo Demi Diva, Curvy Kate Tease Me and Thrill Me. I have not tried the following, but would venture to add the Cleo Eleanor and Bonnie. Also, according to Curvy Wordy's reviews, I feel comfortable adding Ewa Michalak’s “HP” bras.

Bras fitting this description somewhat include: Panache Melody, Curvy Kate Ella.

If you’re shopping online, you can usually recognize these bras by the lack of a ribbon or tight detail along the top of the cup. They also tend to appear to have a more round or horizontal shape across the neckline if you are just looking at it on a model online:

Bras with this shape can be good for anyone, even those without full-on-top boobs, and are an easier transition from poorly-fitted “normal” looking bras to the world of well fitted bras, especially for people who were used to Victoria’s Secret, as the shape is more similar.

Drawbacks to this shape include the fact that it often comes hand in hand with wider underwires which can tend to put your boobs in your armpits. Personally I prefer this because it balances my visual shape from the front and minimizes my boobs from the side:

However, lots of people find wider underwires very uncomfortable, while others dislike the lower, rounded shape and prefer an upfront look with more lift and projection:

This shape puts the boobs front and center. The look can be achieved by slightly higher-cut bras where the top section actually curves back in, and is meant to cover and support a greater proportion of the boobs. These bras can be a nightmare for anyone with full-on-top boobs as they curve back in right where the most stubborn part of the boob is and can cause epic quadraboob. However, they can also be more supportive and if well-fitted, are often LESS likely to shift under clothes and start to cut in and leave a line. These bras are more likely to give a fuller-coverage but lower-cut appearance when seen on a model—a V-neck shape:

People with full-on-top boobs can sometimes still wear bras like this but may need to size up and/or alter the center gore to get a better fit if they are seeking this shape. I know many people who prefer this shape as the gold standard of a well-fitted bra. Other bras giving this shape include the carefully structured Ewa Michalak padded bras, again according to Curvy Wordy (I have no experience of Ewa Michalak bras).

Bras fitting this description include: Bravissimo Alana and Dotty Spot, Freya Arabella, Lyla, Eleanor etc, Ewa Michalak’s “PL” bras.

Bras fitting this description somewhat include: Bravissimo Boudoir Beau, Cleo Lucy.

This shape makes the boobs look much more streamlined from the front, because it pulls them to the center and up. They look more dramatic from the side:

Although I think these two shapes tend to be the ones most sought out by women, there are a lot of other shapes, and many bras seem to give a shape that falls in between. There is this more relaxed, natural look, which is often achieved with full-coverage bras:

There are also a thousand shapes in between these extremes. I’m becoming more and more interested in what other women want and what shape they search for in a bra. If you like a shape that I haven’t mentioned, let me know in the comments!

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show-It's Complicated.

I have a confession: I watched the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show last night (a bit belatedly). I actually enjoy watching it for its pure cheerfulness and gaudy excess. 

And that’s weird for me because I normally really dislike things that portray and glorify only one type of extremely skinny body. In fact, I still hate this about the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I really, really wish that they would choose some curvier women to be their Angels—some with boobs, some with hips, some with both. I just personally would love to see that variety and I think those bodies could set off the lingerie as well or better than the very similar bodies they use currently.

I’m not saying that I dislike skinny women or think they can’t be beautiful. They are often beautiful. Like Behati!

But I think that the kind of blog posts I’ve been seeing a lot lately, saying that it's unfair to hate on or reject skinny bodies in favor of curvy bodies, are often avoiding a point that I think needs to be made. The glorification of skinny, bony, and in some cases, even starved-looking bodies has been a major trend in fashion for many years now, and can be a trigger for many people with tendencies toward unhealthy behavior or eating disorders. I don’t see an equal self-harm response on the part of skinny women to attempt to look like curvy women. I’m sorry, but I just don’t view it as the same thing. A very skinny, less curvy woman might love her body, or she might feel jealousy and wish for a different body—same as any body shape might feel—but the difference is that the very skinny woman can look in almost any fashion magazine, or at almost any runway show, and see her body type reflected there. Despite not eliminating the possibility of body insecurity, this is still not the case for most other body types who rarely or never see their body type glorified.

I also think that there is a difference between a healthy skinny body and an unhealthy one. I’m not going to name names here or suggest that any certain person is healthier than another, because I don’t know them or their lives, and I’m not a doctor. But some people are skinny because they're naturally skinny, some are skinny because they're athletes, and some are skinny because they are engaging in extreme weight-loss behaviors. I'd like to think that the Victoria's Secret Angels are the first or second kind, but after reading Adriana Lima’s description of her weight loss plan, I have to suspect the opposite. Losing weight by severely restricting calories and over-exercising can be very, very unhealthy and so it is difficult for me to focus on a show celebrating lingerie and women’s sexiness when I am wondering about that. 

My point is that, even though there is no call for body-hating on skinny women and calling them “twelve-year-old boys” and so on, there is also the little fact that some women who are that skinny DON’T look like that naturally. Apparently not all of the Angels do, otherwise they would not need to resort to the extreme diet and workout plans they reportedly rely on before the show. And I think that's unnecessary, because I believe that just about everyone looks best at their "natural" weight--the weight they settle at when they go about their lives not obsessing about weight loss and dieting. I would be so much more capable of appreciating the skinny bodies in the VS Fashion Show if I knew they were healthy and natural.

I do enjoy seeing the colorful, frilly, bizarre costumes the Angels wear in the show. The rainbow knee socks. The mermaid costumes. But this year I really struggled with the lack of diversity in the Angels’ body types. Of COURSE the Angels are “Real Women.” But so are ALL women, including those whom Victoria’s Secret would not choose for its runway… and I think it’s those women who don’t hear that often enough. 

Versace, Keep Your Size Prejudice Out of my H&M!

Once in a while I feel a need to hate on something other than frumpy bras and inept drivers/pedestrians, and when I do, it’s usually high fashion. As a disclaimer, I really am no expert on the topic. I mostly wear black, white and gray. In fact, I don’t even spend time trying to dress properly for my giant boobs. I just wear stretchy, tight clothing and throw on a cardigan if I start to feel like I’m offending people. My bra straps are usually hanging out. I like to think that I usually look vaguely normal for a college student, but I don’t think I ever look “on trend.”

Now that you know this, check out these bizarre pieces from Versace's collection for H&M! I personally do not know anyone who would feel a need to own these items for the low, low price of £99. That first one looks kinda like an apron to me (it's supposedly a shirt/skirt set). 

I kind of resent this invasion of a store I like by the mystifyingly overpriced, postmodern, mind-boggling experience that is Fashion. Fair enough, though--I'm sure there are plenty of fun, vibrant people who could pull off these pieces. I am sure there are lots of customers who won’t mind paying about five times more than what H&M clothes usually cost. In fact, people's desperation to do so has apparently led to bloodshed! So I guess I can't complain about the collection itself. My real problem is that I don’t want this normal store, which sells plenty of different sizes, to suddenly start endorsing the sizeist rhetoric of high fashion that makes women all over the world feel like crap about themselves. 

Here’s what happened: H&M, which kindly caters for more than one body type (though to be fair you wouldn’t know it from their web photos) tried to get Versace to let them model the collection on “real” women, that is, up to a size 6. Donatella Versace apparently threw a hissy fit because people that “large” cannot be allowed to represent her brand. That doesn’t exactly answer the question of why she sells her weird clothes in this size if it is so important that only size 0s wear them, but it also makes me wonder why people are still allowing her to perpetrate this idea. Please can we just be over this glorification of small women over all other women? If fashion is about pushing boundaries and celebrating extremes then why don’t we see the same number of curvy and plus size women on the runway? Who, exactly, has the self-confidence to shop a collection when they know the clothes are only “supposed” to be worn by the skinniest of supermodels?

Here’s one of the articles about Donatella’s freakout. There’s also a more scornful account, with more cursing, here.The best part is the comment pointing out that Donatella Versace really just looks like Keith Richards in a wig.  Mean but true. 

If anything, her massive amounts of plastic surgery prove that she has a great deal of body image issues of her own which might cause her to lash out at other women. But I’m still disgusted by what she stands for.

Why Doesn't Freya Think We're Sexy?

Have you ever been looking at a cute bra for sale online and noticed these words: “Additional lining in GG-J cups for extra support”?

The phrase seems harmless, but beware those words if you’re hoping to purchase the bra you actually see in the pictures. Check out the difference the additional lining makes in the appearance of the Freya Arabella, a bra practically mythologized for its sexy sheerness:

It’s still a cute bra with the extra lining, but the fact is that the lined version looks JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER BRA made for GG-J. It loses the one feature that makes the Arabella distinct: its sheerness.

The same is true of Freya’s Eleanor bra of a few seasons back...

...and the Lyla, which I already decried here for its inadequate size range. Bravissimo is kind enough to feature a picture of the double-lined version in their catalogue, but there is NO photo of it on their website, so I dug one up.

Looks like a totally different bra, doesn't it?

I know what they’d say in their defense: the extra lining is necessary to provide the support needed by GG+ cups. Here’s why that’s bullshit:

        1. Since cup sizes change proportionally to band sizes, a 30GG (which would get the extra lining) is the SAME CUP SIZE as the 32G (which would not get the extra lining). The ONLY DIFFERENCE between those sizes is the band. If the unlined version can support a 38G, it would also be able to support up to a 28JJ. I keep waiting for bra manufacturers to pay some attention to this fact. Do they just not know about it?

        2.  Even more significantly, the extra lining does not give extra support. Want to know how I know that? Back in the day, I was the proud owner of a 30GG Arabella that had the extra lining. It bothered me that I couldn’t wear the bra as it was designed (sheer) so I simply cut out the opaque inner lining. It wasn’t too hard, I just had to cut carefully to avoid puncturing the outer mesh. When I was done, the bra looked just like the D-G sheer version--AND it still gave the exact same level of shape and support. The outer see-through mesh on the Arabella has NO STRETCH WHATSOEVER, so it can support the structure of the bra all on its own. The inner lining, on the other hand, has slight 2-directional stretch; the only function it serves is visual.

So if the additional lining doesn’t provide any extra support in GG-J cups, why do they put it in? Well, I suspect it’s because Freya thinks women with GG-J cup boobs wouldn’t want a sheer bra—for the same reason they refuse to make longline bras, padded plunges, and most of their cuter designs in those cup sizes even though every other similar company does. They just seem to think that boobs that big wouldn’t look nice in their fancier designs—that boobs that big shouldn’t need anything other than the basics. Well, I think they’re wrong. As a J-cup, I do want a sheer bra; I think it would look just as good on me as it would on an F-cup. The upper cup sizes really do deserve to have the same cute options as the lower cup sizes, even if there is a slightly smaller group of customers that needs those sizes.  Shouldn’t we all get to be a little impractical with our lingerie once in a while?

Taking My Boobs to France

       When I went on a school trip to France in 11^th grade, the (rather strict, and not at all French) French teacher who led the trip felt a need to relentlessly prepare us for the world of thievery and judgment that was supposedly France. Among her vendettas? “I don’t want to see any cleavage! Cleavage is not acceptable in French culture! Not an inch of skin!”

           
              Frankly I still have no idea if this is true or not; I suspect not, and I’m pretty sure there are prudes in every culture who dislike seeing cleavage on total strangers. But at the time, I didn’t want to make waves or send the wrong impression, so I packed my most hideous, frumpy clothes. I simply didn’t own anything that I felt cute in where I could guarantee NO glimpse of cleavage. Even in a well fitted, FULL-CUP bra, there always seemed to be a few inches escaping. So I only packed clothes in which I felt uncomfortable and unattractive.

                 I also brought a selection of hideous scarves, which I tied around my neck to hide any errant cleavage that might escape. I love scarves now, but back then I didn’t know what kind to buy or how to tie them, so the overall effect was quite unfashionable. Now I look back and regret taking the teacher so seriously; no one else took her seriously. I wish I’d had the courage to pack the clothes I felt the happiest in, even if my boobs were hanging out, because it would have felt extra-nice to feel beautiful in France.

             My flatmates and I just booked tickets for a trip to Paris in January. As we did, I felt a thrill of excitement knowing that this time around I'm old enough to make my own choices about how I present myself. I'm going to pack the clothes I feel the most comfortable in, and yeah, that's probably going to include a little bit of cleavage.